if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize