i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
