I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
