As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
it's like heaven, but drunker
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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