Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
