i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
