Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
