Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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