Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
