last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
