I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize