4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
