Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just gift wrapped bread.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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