imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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