why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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