I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
