Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
