i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
