how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
