My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
