I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You have to summon your inner elephant
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize