those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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