Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
