we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
