Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
