haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
