Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
