Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
