It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
