as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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