Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
