That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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