But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
