I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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