Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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