My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
