I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
