i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
