we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
