I wish I could teleport
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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