john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
