UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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