Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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