It's just like the Real World with babies
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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