i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
