I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
