have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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