just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
