i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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