Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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