Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
