Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I deserve this hangover.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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