something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
