wakey wakey hands off snakey
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
