32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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