the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
