On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
