you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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