My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
