this boner is exhausting
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
